i haven’t been blogging or writing for a while now. this is discounting the paragraphs i write on the evernote app on my phone that thanks to the wonderfulness of technology, pop up on my computer immediately. for the last six months, there have been sufficient reasons, so i say, that have kept me away from the computer, kept me away from that quiet time that i need to string together words in a way that is not only coherent but also beautiful, the second is still a struggle even when i have more than enough time to ruminate over each word… though, i think i’m managing the coherent bit much better now than a few years ago. (small victories make for eventual big victories?) and the two main reasons that have kept me away are large and justify my absence. though when i think about it, there have been times i could have sat down here, at this every computer and pottered away… slowly putting down thoughts, even if incoherent or worst case unsalvageable. i am lenient on myself, and that might probably be the big reason i do not produce what i dream of… or write how i one day dream of writing, more importantly.

a few days ago i send across my files for my tax, today being the last day to file it… and as i totalled my earnings for the last financial year, earnings that have been on a steady decline ever since i decided to become a full-time and not an independent market researcher who writes on the side, i realised that as much as i tell myself money is not the way to measure success, once a year, when i check my accounts and go through all those payment details, i step away shocked. age isn’t on my side, and honestly, the money isn’t flowing in like i hoped either. a wake-up call, but i will probably put it on snooze again. yes, when it comes to passion one shouldn’t be guided by money but you also need a solid hard prod once in a while to move ass and also earn.

i’ve recently been, thanks to my timeline on facebook and google facilitating it, reading a lot about authors who publish/wrote late in life or after a lot of rejections. it is definitely what i want to hear. the prod i spoke about above also means i need to move ass… and now!

so my mantra, or mantras, going ahead (which means you will hear a lot from me)

rediscover my passion. which is writing.

just write. everyday, everywhere. do not edit, do not self-critique too much, all of which become a huge hindrance when you are starting to get into flow again.

make it a habit. keep aside time, a fixed word limit, and aka jerry pinto, almost do not brush your teeth till you’ve achieved that. he said in some article that he does that!

every thought is an idea saved for later. every time i want to say something on whatsapp (i seem to write more there than anywhere else these days) type out that opinion/thought/view/line/whatever as if i am telling someone, which makes me write my best, then cut and paste it in my evernote ideas notebook.

jot down and walk away. let them ruminate, but not vegetate. do not write with the goal of everything being an article/story. write to write. letting things be without wanting to jump in and mishandle them immediately.

publish 2 posts a week. small targets, to move myself along. out of which 1 is just rambling thoughts, much like this one, with minimum editing, but just to get those creative juices activated and me feeling better about the world of writing. blog to get into the grove again.

get back to swimming. might sound unconnected but while finishing my laps, i think the best. i make up so many stories which doesn’t happen during any other exercise routine. for that to happen, dear rains please go away fast. the lakes are full here in mumbai and i need the water to stop being so very cold!

as someone said, a writer is someone who finishes. i need to learn to start and finish again. now.